Buck Moon’s Rising and the Inspiration behind “Indigo Night”

Buck Wimberly was born during a full Buck Moon, hence the musical moniker.

Hello, and welcome to my first blog post on BuckMoonMusic.com! I figured a great start would be to share a little about the inspiration behind my first release “Indigo Night”.

Ready to get deep? A couple of years ago, life forced me to finally contemplate why I’m dealing with anxiety and depression…when I have the partner I dreamed off, amazing kids, and a job I literally created for myself. I realized that I had never slowed down to deal with the hard shit: Growing up gay in Texas as a Southern Baptist was rough. Certain childhood experiences were confusing and taught me shame and self-hate. Being bullied was demoralizing and embarrassing and made feel worthless. Divorcing my wife and best friend and detaching myself from a church family that struggled to understand me was heart breaking. The passing of my ex-partner that I had built a house and shared a life with was haunting. And yet, it became so easy to just gloss over those real life challenges and bypass the grief, the lessons, and the impact they make.

I think many times in life, we do what we have to do to survive and keep going. For me, the danger of that started when I began sweeping a lot of my hard-life-stuff under the rug. I don’t have time for that! I have a business to run, problems to solve, people to see, sons to raise, a partner to love, etc.

This all leads me to 2022 when I decided to do something about all of this bypassing I did, and the effects of it all. I had been researching a lot about the latest trends in medicines derived from plants and animals, along with psychedelics — and how they were being used to help people with many things, including PTSD and depression. Eventually, I made my way to a retreat where I discovered the healing power of Ayahuasca, Kambo, psilocybin, and more.

In the Fall of 2023 after a few Ayahuasca retreats, I find myself taking part in a week-long rites of passage retreat. It is a week full of challenging experiences inspired by ancient rites of passage rituals. A big element to the rites of passage experience is dealing with the unknown, not knowing what each day holds or what is coming next — so out of respect for people who may do it in the future, I won’t go into detail about it. I will say that the rituals center around the four elements — air, fire, earth, and water — challenging my mind, body, and spirit in ways that I’ve never faced before.

“I walked through the fire

I buried a part of me in the earth

And I saw myself sinking

down into the water...it's my rebirth

It is an emotional time where I am forced to be with myself in a deep way, connect with Mother Nature, and where I REALLY start to learn how to “be still” (a recurring lyric in the song). The retreat ends with an intense Ayahuasca ceremony that is deeply impactful and pushes me into further understanding of myself and my past. There is a deep truth that comes through after allowing parts of myself to die off that aren’t serving anymore. It takes weeks and months to process and integrate, and continues to help me learn to live more fully in the present, instead of continuing to feel afflicted by the past.

I'm shedding my demons

They're finally releasing and giving up their fight

A new me is rising

after a journey through the indigo night”

While I have been writing songs for years, my first completed song to release is “Indigo Night”, a sonic painting of my experience working through all of the rites of passage rituals during that weeklong retreat. With some time having passed, I can look back and say that this experience plays a pivotal role in my story. I want to capture it in song like a diary entry for me to refer to in the future. When I look back on my life, I know that I’ll see this experience as a stepping stone on my journey.

Ultimately, I am writing music for myself. My songs are parts of my story and expressions of my truth. I hope that by sharing it, maybe someone else will relate or be inspired to learn to work through their past traumas, addictions, negative thought patterns — or whatever may be holding them back — so that they can live more fully in the present, learn to love themselves, appreciate this crazy ride on this planet with all of its twists and turns, and connect more with those around them.

Thank you for taking the time to learn about my music and being a part of my story!

“Indigo Night” releases Thursday, January 25th, on the Full Moon. You can find it on most the major music platforms, including iTunes and Spotify.